Fun Stuff!
Here’s where you can read some fun stuff! We may ask for feedback in polls in the future, so keep that in mind…and also feel free to read some of these worship “funnies” too!
Did you hear about the farmer who lived with his wife way out in the country? They attended a little bitty church in the small town nearby. Now one day the farmer had to travel to the big city and he stayed over the weekend. Sunday morning he visited one of the churches there in the city. When he came back home, his wife asked him about the worship service at the big-city church. He said, “Well, they don’t sing hymns there - they sing something called praise choruses.” “What’s the difference between a hymn and a praise chorus?” his wife asked.“Well,” he replied, “if a line in a hymn was, ‘Martha, the cows are in the corn’, the praise chorus version would be:
‘Martha, the cows.
Martha, Martha! I am telling you about the cows!
Martha, the cows are in the corn! The white cows! The black cows! The brown cows! Martha, all of the cows are in the corn
COWS, COWS, COWS are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, in the CORN, CORN, CORN, COOOOORRRRRNNNNN,’
As luck would have it, the exact same Sunday a young, new Christian from the city church attended the small town church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.
“Well,” said the young man, “It was good. They did something different, however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs.”
“Hymns?” asked the wife. “What are those?”
“They’re okay. They’re sort of like regular songs, only different,” said the young man.
“Well, what’s the difference?” asked the wife.
The young man said, “Well it’s like this … If I were to say to you, ‘Martha, the cows are in the corn,’ well that would be a regular song. If on the other hand, I were to say to you,
Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by
To the righteous, glorious truth.
For the way of the animals who can explain
There in their heads is no shadow of sense,
Hearkenest they in God’s sun or his rain
Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.
Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight,
Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minions of darkness and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn chewed.
So look to that bright shining day by and by,
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn
Where no vicious animal makes my soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn,
then, if I were to do only verses one, three and four, and change keys on the last verse, well that would be a hymn.”
Dentist’s Hymn………………..Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman’s Hymn………………There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor’s Hymn………………….The Church’s One Foundation
The Tailor’s Hymn………………….Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer’s Hymn………………… There’s a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician’s Hymn…………….Standing on the Promises
Optometrist’s Hymn………………..Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent’s Hymn…………….I Surrender All
The Gossip’s Hymn…………………Pass It On
The Electrician’s Hymn…………..Send The Light
The Shopper’s Hymn………………Sweet By and By
The Realtor’s Hymn………………… I’ve Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapists Hymn…. He Touched Me
The Doctor’s Hymn………………….. The Great Physician
